The Great River Challenge of 2011

November 1st, 2011

The guys were out in 4 pairs, 3 doubles and 1 single. We lined them up eight wide and yelled, "GO!". Three short pieces later, along with one stoppage due to contact, it was determined that the fastest combination of the day. or shall we say the boldest, was a pair-oared shell rowed by (bow) Sam MacGregor '14 and (stroke) Hank Schless '14.

Apparently, their primary strategical tool was intimidation. Beginning the first piece six lanes apart did not suit MacGregor as he and his partner found it difficult to intimidate their main competition from such a distance. So step one was to slowly work their way across the course in order to face the pair of PC Miller '12 & Gar Ditz '14 directly; the six crews occupying those lanes being nothing more than a temporary obstacle. With this "lane shift" complete this dastardly duo was in position to aggressively confront their only competition.

Predictably, the second piece was a bit more like a jousting match in Elizabethan England than a pull-boat race. Blades were clashing, nostrils were flaring and inappropriate language was used by all - but the strategy had worked, the damage had been done. Mac & Hank forced their way to the front, showing no remorse, no caution, no consideration at all for the well-being of their opponent, and prevailed in fantastic fashion.

The third piece was uneventful and pedestrian. The intimidation had worked. Bloodied and worn from the previous battle, or simply fearing for their own safety and that of their equipment, the pair of Miller and Ditz was no match. MacGregor and Schless were victorious.

Part I of the Great River Challenge has come to an end. Check back tomorrow to see how Miller & Ditz respond in Part II.


All details and descriptions of the events portrayed are subject to interpretation and are in no way considered accurate. All names have been changed (not really) to protect the reputation and ego of the innocent. Any and all complaints should be submitted, in writing, directly to the original author of this blog, Tom Guncik.